Division

Hi everyone

Summer holidays – an important item in many people’s diaries – are still on hold but perhaps not the planning – it is looking like UK holidays will be opening up on 4th July starting with self-catering.  A trip by car and then remaining relatively self-contained is a safe way to go and probably most facilities will be open, at least outdoor ones.  Overseas holidays are more problematic because of the current highly unpopular two weeks self-isolation on return – unless you go to Romania and come back as a fruit picker! I am not sure how widespread the covid-free corridors will become as we are even now the dirty man of Europe with the most cases though no doubt the economics of the tourist industry will have a major part to play in this. 

Three of the main stories this week are the higher risk of people with a BAME (black, asian and minority ethnic) background dying from Covid, the death of George Floyd and the Madeleine McCann developments.  How do we respond to such events?

I found myself saying this week that I do not think I am a racist – arguing that having lived in London for over 30 years with its multicultural society and mixing with people from many different backgrounds and colour it simply was not an issue. And yet having been brought up in a white privileged environment and living in a white dominated society this is unlikely.  There is a gap between what we think and how we respond under pressure.  As an example, albeit not colour related, I remember being in Australia and learning the difference between called a friendly Pommie Bastard and a Bastard Pom during an argument.  My nationality had nothing to do with the situation but a burning resentment came to the fore and I was labelled.  There was nowhere to go with the discussion, leaving a simmering mutual dislike.  I very much doubt my colleague would have considered himself racist, but conscious thoughts are not always aligned with deeper held reactions which become apparent when faced with an ‘in your face’ situation. His visceral emotional life had taken over, and both our capacities for friendliness and rational thinking put on hold. 

There is an argument that race of itself is not a risk factor in Covid but rather it is because of the associated higher incidence of diseases in that group such as hypertension and diabetes. Such an argument often bypasses the next question of why this should be so.  This group is poorer, eating less well, receiving less good care, living in areas with less well-resourced schools.  Is it because as a society we prioritise consciously or unconsciously white people?  It is difficult to imagine that the Madeleine McCann story would be on the front pages after thirteen years had she been from a BAME family.

These events raise the question of how divided we are as a society and what we can do to heal it.  The first step is to acknowledge that because of our background we all carry prejudice, consciously or unconsciously.  The effect of this is to ‘otherise’ people.  When you otherise someone you think they are either your enemy or of no importance.  This thought gives you comfort in making you feel superior and part of a clan. This thought generates adrenaline and cortisol – the fight/flight hormones – which reinforce the thought so when you face your ‘enemy’ you are in fight mode not dialogue mode.   You become aggressive defending your position, which in turn provokes retaliation so both sides escalate their levels of violence. And the divisions widen and are sustained over an extended period. Politicians are very adept at it – once you identify with a political party you accept with less discernment all its policies and begin to see the other parties as the other – the enemy – thereby creating division. Brexit was a classic example as was Trump’s election. He continues to be brilliant at reinforcing division and cementing his electoral base – it’s us against them.  The media is also good at it – it attracts more viewers/readers if what they put out exaggerates a drama – often using clickbaits - because again it tickles our adrenaline as it feeds our prejudices. 

And yet being in this continued state of fear/anger about others is known to be associated with a higher risk of death. It is the same for many of us during the pandemic – a background anxiety/fear/rage about lockdown and the virus.  What can we do?  First we can decide we do not want to continue in this self-destructive state whether it be about the pandemic or about race.  A friend recently said ‘I am not prepared to be fearful.’  Then seek connection with others – by being curious about why perhaps you and they are angry or upset.  If you wish to address or even explore your own racial attitudes reach out to a BAME person or read about people from this group.

It is said that life is made up of 10% what happens and 90% how we respond to it.  We can at least try to address the 90%.

I am thankful for some of these thoughts to a book just published which I recommend if you want to read more about this.  It is by my friend Dr Richard Gillett – ‘It’s a Freakin’ Mess – how to thrive in divisive times’ and it is available on Amazon. 

With love

Derek